Several things we do backwards
Thinking hard when we should trust our guts, and vice versa.
- Ex: thinking hard about what meal to choose at the restaurant, and following our guts when making a big purchase decision or investing in stock.
Taking our time when we should go fast and vice versa.
- When we're pressured to do something that's when we speed up when it's exactly when we should take our time. On mundane stuff, where we should breeze past unimportant stuff, we indulge in wasting time over unimportant stuff.
Thinking as adults but acting as kids, and vice versa.
- We wrap ourselves in our self-importance, nurture our egos, and think too seriously, which results in acting in childish manners, being impatient and throwing tantrums. We'd be better off thinking creatively like kids, allowing ourselves to daydream and imagine without limits, while taking responsibility in our actions.
Applying great effort where we should apply the least effort, and vice versa.
- We try to force exercising, dieting, taking on new habits with sheer willpower when it works best to find an easy way in. Or we discipline ourselves into long hours of boring, unfulfilling tasks, unproductive tasks. And when we're enjoying things, doing exciting stuff, things that come easy, we stay superficial instead of doubling down on it. Laziness is not a defect, it's an evolutionary tool.
Aligning reality with our expectations instead of the reverse.
- We rationalise, retrofit explanations, and invent stories to fit reality into our worldview, instead of doing the opposite: opening our minds and embracing reality to learn and grow in the process.
- Align with reality
Hurrying in the daily life yet wasting time in the long run.
- Why are we so in a hurry in every day life—we get stressed out when stuck in traffic jam, when a website takes too much time to load, when we have to wait for someone or something—but when it comes to time spans a bit longer, just looking at quarters or a year, we're not using this time fully? By the end of the quarter of the year, we haven't accomplished much. Things haven't really changed. We want to change things over the course of a day or a week, but keep the status quo over the months and years. It's because we're chasing events when results, i.e. real change, is borne out of process.
Want things now, but are not being present
- We want things right away, we don't want to wait. We want immediate results, quick rewards. Yet our minds constantly wander in and worry about the past or future. We're fighting against time.
- Time can be used as a tool, as a friend, by being present and trusting time and the future with our actions.
Being aloof and rational when you should be emotional, and vice-versa
- Ok this is a personal one. I noticed that I have the tendency to appear aloof and detached when the situation actually mandates to show some heart. And when the situation is exactly when I need to be cold-blooded, analytic and rational, I tend to get emotional.
- For instance, when interacting with family and friends, I act like I don't care. But in business, where you need to be detached and rational, I do the contrary, getting attached to ideas and hopes. I become scared and afraid to take calculated risks, or to expose myself to the real world. I fear reality and want the comfort of feeling good, rather than dealing straight with reality. Same in poker, I get attached to hands and outcomes and throw tempers when I lose because of a bad beat or play badly, instead of simply being detached and analysing what happened to improve.
Overthinking when we should be spontaneous, and reacting when we should be temperate
We refrain from acting when we should be spontaneous, and when we should take a moment to pause and reflect, we just burst out of a reaction in anger and just letting ourselves get overwhelmed by emotions. So basically, when we should be spontaneous, we think, and when we should pause and think, we react. It's totally backwards. We should be spontaneous in action and temperate in reaction.
![[Several things we do backwards spontaneity and temperance.m4a]]