The Only Real Path to Growth: Practical Expectations One Tweak At A Time
For the longest time, I’ve been either making slow progress or stagnating—almost two decades. And I attribute this to one simple thing: the concept of small improvement, becoming a better version of yourself one tweak at a time.
The Fallacy of Instant Perfection
So the thing is, what I used to do is look at a goal or skill that I want to master, something that I want to achieve. Then I would try to become immediately that perfect finished version of that. I think it’s partly due to the internet, which exposes us to all these pictures and images of successful people. And it paints a deceptive picture. You only see the end results and subconsciously start believing that when you don’t know how to do something, well, it’s black or white.
You have a version of your goal, of yourself, in your head, and you’re not it, and you have to become it almost overnight—at least in one go. And that’s a fallacy, and that’s a belief that’s been subconscious—that’s why it’s vicious—but it’s been holding me back for years.
Progress Through Incremental Steps
The truth is, how you improve, how you become a better version of yourself, how you develop a skill, how you achieve a goal, is not in one fell swoop. You actually progress step by step, little by little, towards your goal or improving little by little at a skill. You have one parameter at a time.
So instead of starting with something with the finished product, right, the end in mind, you actually start from where you are and seek to improve one parameter at a time. One little tweak, and you focus on that.
Be Practical: Start Immediately and Enjoy the Process
So the important part is to start immediately, without waiting for the perfect conditions, perfect method, perfect course. Start where you are. And the second most important thing—or I don’t know, it’s not in order of priority, but it’s important—is to take action and do something and enjoy doing it, having fun. It’s important. It must not be a hassle.
And once you take action, then it’s not a matter of “Did it work or did it not work? Have I been successful? Have I failed? Have I achieved my goal or have I not?” Most often than not, you will not have achieved your goal; you will not have mastered your skill after one session or repetition. You don’t ditch an idea or a concept or an experiment just because you failed because you took action once.
Iterate: Action, Feedback, and Tweaking
Now what you do is you actually take action and see if there’s echo. You have some feedback, and then you keep doing what you just did, but you tweak it. That’s the key. Really, the real failure in life is just to repeat the same mistakes, to keep doing the same thing and expecting different results.
But it doesn’t mean that you should try something and then, if it doesn’t work, you ditch it completely and do something totally different. No, you do what you think you have to do, and if it doesn’t work, you tweak it just by one parameter. And you do it again with that changed parameter and see if there’s a difference.
That’s how you actually improve, little by little, just like nature. You’re not constantly changing things over and over, doing complete overhauls of everything you do. No, you actually iterate. What iteration means is improving upon what you just did—not doing one thing and ditching it and doing something totally different.
Real-Life Examples of Iteration
Drawing
I got good examples. For example, I wanted to draw again. I used to be a good drawer when I was a kid and a teenager, but I completely stopped as soon as I entered my teens and adulthood. So whenever I started again, I felt discouraged because, at first, I lost a lot of skill, and my expectations as an adult were in great discrepancy with what I was actually able to produce. It just created tension, and I didn’t like what I drew. I didn’t like what came out of my hand. And so I immediately stopped.
I would fiddle and doodle and draw a few lines here and there and conclude that I was not good at drawing anymore, and that’s it. Again, this was the black and white fallacy: I had the expectation of a finished drawing in my head, and I wanted to be able to draw like that. But inevitably, it would not end up like what was in my head. I didn’t build the skill.
And the problem is that instead of trying to draw a simple thing and be happy with it and try to iterate, I could have just been better at drawing stick figures—just like when I started when I was a kid. When you’re a kid, you didn’t have any expectations. Drawing, in absolute terms, is often shit. But you, as a kid, like to draw and enjoy it because you think it’s wonderful, and that’s what makes you keep going. And then you improve upon it. You keep drawing your stick figures, and you’re happy with it, and you want to improve, so you start getting better. And that’s how you improve in the long term.
Trading: Developing an Edge
Same thing with trading. I used to try a model, and if it didn’t work over one trade, that’s it—I would ditch it and try to go look for another model. There was zero thinking about developing an edge, trying something a hundred times, and then, okay, first it’s different because, of course, trading is a probability-based endeavor. But then again, even more, you have to do the same thing over a certain number of times.
And then you iterate. Once you have taken at least 10 or 20 times the same trade type, following a specific model, then after that, if it didn’t work, it doesn’t mean you have to ditch it completely. What you want to do is actually see where you could improve just one parameter. Maybe it’s the entry level, the entry technique, or maybe it’s the RR that’s targeted—it’s just one parameter. Then you can tweak it and try again and see how it does. That’s how you iterate and improve.
Learning an Instrument
Playing an instrument? Pick up a guitar and expect to play a solo immediately—that’s unrealistic. It’s the surefire way to get disgusted, discouraged, and never pick up a guitar again. As if you just go for something super simple and be happy playing it. It’s the thing you can actually play. It’s nothing crazy, but it’s something simple.
Then you start improving upon it, adding just a little technique there and focusing on one specific technique and trying to master it and become proficient at it. Adding another technique, a little passage from the song, and repeating it. Then adding another part or another style—always building on what you already have and then improving upon it.
Fitness: Managing Expectations
There are many examples in every way of life. Same for a workout, for fitness. The problem when we can’t achieve our fitness goals is simple. We have unrealistic expectations. We hope that doing one week, two weeks, even one month of an exercise is going to bring us crazy results—a change of body.
But in reality, what you want is to have realistic expectations about what’s going to happen after one week, two weeks, one month, and then go from there. If you have realistic expectations and you just want to feel in shape, feel good about yourself—well, you can do that in two weeks or one month and build upon it. It’s positive feedback.
And if you don’t get that, then change what’s not working. But don’t change it completely. If you’re doing bodyweight exercises, for example, and you’re not feeling that good, then change to cardio, or HIIT, or go lifting weights. Find something that you can enjoy right now and then start tweaking.
The Foundation of Improvement
So that’s the main, the foundation rules—the foundation rules of improvement. That’s having realistic expectations, both in terms of impact and results in time. You manage your expectations so that whatever work or action you take, you enjoy it. You actually enjoy the process and then build upon it.
Once you have the process, the action that you enjoy, seek feedback. Seek echo. If you don’t get the echo—if you don’t get any echo or the feedback that you’re looking for—don’t just ditch your action, your process altogether. Try to tweak it. Experiment just one parameter at a time. Always be simple. Simplicity, again, is the ultimate. Simplicity is of the essence. Just keep things simple and enjoy. Change just one little parameter at a time. Just tweak, tinker, and get results from there. Don’t try to have a perfect version right away—just seek improvements, each day better than the last.